In my last post, I spoke of balancing the time I have off between the live in girlfriend I had and the fire department. I was able to do so and lived a very short and meaningful life with them. My days usually consisted of helping her and the kids get ready for school, sleeping (if I had worked the night before), handling some fire department business if I was off, picking up the oldest from the school bus and taking care of her, and getting dinner ready for us all to eat when her and the youngest got home. I felt I was living the life I wanted. Not long after Halloween, I noticed that things were not the same with her, she was acting distant. Fearing complacency had set in; I tried to keep the fire alive as much as I could. Unfortunately, I failed. Shortly after Christmas, she decided that she was not into the relationship anymore and opted to leave. Once again, I felt like my world was crushed again.
As with any break up, I began receiving the "you deserve better" and "she doesn't know what she's lost" type texts. I believed this, but it didn't help the hurt much. One day, I realized that I had made a mistake. I had went behind one of my best friends and dated the woman that just broke his heart, I had fallen for someone almost as fast as a stage 5 clinger, and I had moved her and the kids in way before I should have. How could I have been so stupid? I knew, right then, that this could not happen again, I knew better than that. After a short period of time, I returned to my normal routine of handling fire department business for most of the day on my off days, aside from handling errands and personal business. I started meeting new people again and spent some quality time with some very good friends, and I even started attending church again regularly. Life wasn't any easier, but I felt that by making a few lifestyle changes, maybe I could begin moving it in a better direction. So far, I'm still in a good place.
Calls have been jumping from week to week. Some weeks are decent, running quite a few a day or well above average for the week, while some days and weeks are quiet for the most part. I've gotten the motivation to improve my education and experience as much as possible. This week, I've applied to volunteer in the neighboring county to help their growing community, to gain additional experience by running more calls, and have additional opportunities for classes. Plus, it will give me an extra place to go when I don't feel like staying home. I've also started looking into instructor courses and another officer course. I've learned that having the education, no matter what field it is, takes you to more places. The more you can learn in the field you are in, the more you can accomplish. Take this coming from a guy that dropped out of school at 17. If I've said it before, I'll say it again and if I've never said it before, then I'll say it now... just because you dropped out of school does not mean that you cannot accomplish good things in your life. I've been a rookie fireman, an experienced fireman, dispatcher, corrections officer, fire department lieutenant, leader, and now working on being an educator. With the same drive, determination, dedication, and moral compass...anyone in the position I was in at 17 can do the same things. Don't get complacent.
Until next time, keep fighting the good fight.
Lt Will
