When you have done something a certain way for so long, it is really hard to break that habit when it is necessary. I have always devoted alot of my time to the fire department, especially as an officer. Last month, I moved my girlfriend and her 2 girls into my small house. Now, my girlfriend is very very supportive of me being a firefighter, but I think that I may have taken a little more advantage of that than I should have. Responding to calls, doing P.R. events, and just hanging out at the station for too long and leaving her at home have taken up alot of my time with her. This is wrong. There has to be a smooth balance between work, family, and fire department if you want things to go on smoothly. People always say to cherish those close to you and never take a day for granted. If I continue down the road of making the fire station a high priority, I am likely to lose the woman I love. So I have to dial my commitment to the fire department back some and start devoting more committment to my girlfriend. However, this doesnt mean that I have to quit doing the things I have been doing, I just have to schedule things better in order to achieve the balance that is needed. Family comes first.
The only other way that I can think of that this may work with is if your significant other is a part of or participates in the fd activities. This can be a double edged sword and can have many outcomes, both good and bad. I'll give you my own personal account.
If you recall, I was once engaged to a girl that I met while four wheeler riding. She was a certified diver and wanted to use that skill for the fire department dive rescue team. I didnt think that was a bad idea, I had actually supported it. Then, she wanted to do more to participate, so she became a support member so she could go on the calls with me. I didnt mind this at all, we could do things together. After a short period of this, she decided that she wanted to do actual firefighting.....ok, if you have the desire and determination, bring it on! Then, it began to interfere with our relationship. The fire department became a bigger priority to her than "us", especially after I left our mutual department to join my original fire department. From then on, until we separated, it seemed to drive a bigger wedge between us until enough things (on top of the department) had piled up and eventually led to our separation 3 months after my proposal.
Now, you could say that girlfriends have no place in the fire house for plenty of reasons. One of them could even be that firemen like to hit on your girlfriend or that your girlfriend will hit on the other firmen. Not necessarily. I have had 2 other women in the fire service that did neither. Actually, we worked suprisingly well together all around when it came to inside and outside the deparment. My opinion is this....it depends on the female. Some women won't really care to be a part of something like this...and that's ok! Some women might like it a little bit and would like to participate some to help out and occupy some time...and we applaud your effort! Some women might get into it and you guys work very well together in all aspects...and thats great! Some women might get into it and may be a little more popular than you in a bad way....and again, depending on the female, this could be a bad thing. Part of love is knowing someone can destroy you, but trusting them not to. If you trust her to do the right thing and she doesn't....thats her loss. However, if you dont't trust her...that alone can lead to bad times, and could be on you. You have to evaluate your trust level for the one you love in an organization like this and be prepared for what comes after.
The point of all this is...if she wants to be a part of the organization to help out and you have the trust for her to do so, it could go well for the both of you and maybe even add strength to your relationship. However, if she does not....then you need to be able to balance your time at the fire department around some of your family time. That means you may not be able to run alot of calls or even make alot of meetings, but ultimately...which is more important? You must decide.
Keep fighting the good fight!
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