Just before the summer arrived, I did something that I have never done in my entire life before and probably will never do again. The relationship between Kansas and I had grown to such an extent in such short of a time. Other than the distance between us, everything seemed to be wonderful. There were constant talks about her coming down to visit me, but never any plans made because plane tickets were quite the cost and her job didn't pay all that well. I don't remember how I came to it, but I came into quite a bit of money. When I say quite a bit, I mean that all my bills were paid and I still had $600 left. So what did I do? I bought round-trip tickets and paid all the fees for Kansas to come down to Mississippi to visit. Of course, I lied everyone and told them that she bought one of the tickets and I bought the other. She didn't really like that I had planned to buy the tickets, but she understood that I was going to do it anyway and just went with it. The way my schedule works, I only had to take off two days of vacation in order to spend the entire week that she and I had planned for her to be here. I had never done something like this before, so I was praying to God that it all would go somewhat positively. She was supposed to be here on a Sunday, but because of the security checkpoint from where she took off from, the plane left without her. The time was taken off, the flights were paid for, I had even reserved hotel room for a couple of nights so that the first part of our visit would be somewhat private. Because of the airports screw up, she was not able to leave until Monday morning. That poor girl pretty much stayed the night in an airport. I felt so bad for her and couldn't do a thing to help. I picked her up at the airport Monday just after lunch. We spent the first part of the afternoon driving around, showing her my beach. By the end of our little tour, we were both getting a little hungry. We decided to go put her things inside the hotel room, take a shower, and decide on what we wanted to eat. We chose a pizza joint in the town that I worked in that I had never eaten before. The place was nice and the food was decent, but she had not slept in hours and was definitely feeling the effects. We ultimately decided to go back to the hotel room after dropping the leftovers off at my house so that she could get the rest that she needed. Tuesday morning, there was no need for either of us to be up early, so we slept in as long as we could. I don't remember too many of the details from that day, but that day was planned to show her what made up my life. We had to be out of the hotel by a certain time, so we decided to take all of our things to my house, where we would be staying. Mom had told me that my little brother was playing a ball game that night, so we went over to Alabama to the ball fields to watch. Afterwards, it was an interesting experience at the Waffle House, but then again, what experience there isn't? Then, it was mom's house for a little while before hitting the road home. Wednesday, we decided to take a road trip a little bit up north. I wanted to show her my two favorite towns, both that I wanted to live in. She enjoyed the scenery of both and even admitted to getting ideas of living in one of them. The rest of the afternoon was spent just admiring the scenery of back roads and small towns. Then, it was back home for dinner and bed. Thursday was a day at the beach after I tried to get her to eat sushi for lunch. You cant win 'em all! I told her from the start, if I got a call, she was coming with me. We weren't back home for long that day before I drug her to an accident call close by that just happened to involve a friend of mine. She rather enjoyed some of that, minus my driving. Friday morning, we decided to go eat at a new place on the bay for breakfast Afterwards, we walked along town green and the old downtown area. This was to be her last day here, and it wasn't easy for her. We decided to spend the last hours of her visit asleep together, since I had to work that night and she would be getting on a plane and wouldn't be back home until almost midnight. The drive to the airport was a hard one for her. I was doing OK until she began to cry right outside the security area. I felt so bad that she had to leave, but I knew that she couldn't just leave her life behind for one good week. I wouldn't let her make a decision like that anyway. In a way, I probably didn't want her to leave either, I knew what life would be like with her around, in a good way.
Life returned to normal, we ran calls here and there, same old stuff. I had become irreplaceable to my shift and my lieutenant at work. It was a great feeling to know that your work and presence was appreciated on some level. The summer was here, my favorite time of year. Living on the beach, the summer is always a great time to get out and catch the scenery! By no means am I this kind of person, but I had been chatting up a new friend that I had met on Facebook through mutual friends. It was harmless chatting every couple of days or so and even a couple of visits to the beach. It didn't take long before I could tell that she had an interest in me, but she wouldn't show it. I was trying to fight my interest in her, but that was easier said than done. She was here, not in any other state in America, here. I could see her whenever I wanted almost and that was something interesting to me at the moment. I decided to break the news to her that I was involved with someone. She took it well, but was still adamant that she had feelings for me and that she didn't mind waiting for a brief period of time. Try as I might to fight ANY feeling toward her, all attempts failed. Moves were made, lines were crossed, and before I knew what was happening...I couldn't go back. At the end of June, a tropical storm was due to hit south Florida. This was the exact same time that I was due to take a vacation to Disney with my dad, his wife, their daughter, my daughter and I. A vacation was gonna be good for me. I would take the time to think about things going on in my life, spend a week with my daughter in the perfect place for kids, and not have to be in Mississippi. I had worked all night before the trip, so the drive home and then to Gulf Breeze was a long one.The tropical storm was still making its way to Florida, but had rumors of weakening right before landfall. We were awaiting the word of whether we were going to attempt the trip because of it. Ultimately, it would weaken enough and possibly be gone by the time we got there. WRONG! It was here that I decided to never go on vacation with my father and his wife ever again. Especially not with a 9 hour ride. Because I have local cell service, I decided to keep my phone use to a minimum to keep away from overages. I told Kansas this and that I wanted to concentrate on this time with family. Where this was, in fact, true...I also needed the time to think without distractions. That doesn't say that I was silent with her the whole week, because I would send her pictures and tell her how the day had went. I would usually text her when we got in that night from dinner. Our first day in the park, we decided to see Epcot first..1-because it doesn't hold as many fun things for kids as the others do, 2-its not as big as the other parks, and 3-because it was right in the middle of a TROPICAL STORM! Who goes to Disney during a tropical storm? These Idiots!! Another reason I refuse to take anymore vacations where my father's wife is involved is because she is, by far, the worst vacation planner that I've ever met. I was honestly disappointed for my daughter because we spent more time waiting for her to figure out what we were doing next and complaining than actually doing things. There was so much that my little girl missed out on because of this. I will say that despite all the down sides, she did enjoy herself.
I have yet to figure out how (probably because I slept the entire trip back) how a 9 hour ride to Orlando can take 12 hours to get back The only thing I wanted more than to be home in my bed, was to be the hell out of that Yukon with them. When we finally got back to Gulf Breeze, dad asked me if I was OK to get back home or did I want to stay. I'm good!! After getting home, and well after a lot of thought, I decided that I couldn't keep going with a long distance relationship. I knew that one of two things would happen. Either she would pack up and move down here with me after only a few months, or it was going to fail. My greatest fear was that she would move down here and we would get settled in only for things to fall apart not even a year later. The scariest part of that, for me, was that she would be stuck here. Of course, for a girl in love, a breakup is nothing even remotely close to pleasant. Single again. I continued to talk to the girl from the beach, spending even more time now with her. Still on the website, I was meeting new people off and on. I had even started an account on Plenty of Fish. Again, it wasn't that I was looking for a new girlfriend, I was just looking to meet new people. And this I did. Browsing around one day, I came across this woman (30) who was looking for a date to a wedding. I offered my advice with a little added humor and went on my way. To my surprise, she sent me a message returning the humor and saying that I should just take her. Alright! This woman was gorgeous, what in the world could she see in me?? Being a gentleman, I took her up on her offer and began to plan it all out since I had to work that day. The day before the wedding was to take place, she was unable to go. I understood and went about the rest of my work weekend. We would message back and forth about finding a way to meet since we seemed to connect so well. She didn't live that far away either, which was a plus. My lieutenant was getting married soon and would have a local reception to which I was invited. We began to plan a date for that wedding, which was a month or two away still. In the meantime, I was still trying to visit her in her home town. All attempts were unsuccessful. I began to get a little suspicious. The day of the reception, I received a text from her saying that she was sick and could not make it. It began to look exactly like my situation with the southern sweetheart, who was now married. I went on to the reception alone. I had a good time with my work friends, as I always do. One of the guy's wife was all about me being with a woman and was excited about the date I said that I was going to have that night. She began to ask where my date was. I explained the situation of why she couldn't be there, but she wanted to see pictures. I began to show her the pictures I had in my phone. Her instant reply was "you know Jenna?!?" Do what?? Let me back up a little...The conversations between us have revealed that she was a 30 year old mother of 2, dance instructor in Mobile, attended church regularly, and was just as country as I like 'em. I found out that I had possibly been lied to.
I went home and got on the computer. I knew the name on facebook that I needed to look up. I stopped counting at 5 matched pictures. I confronted her about my new information to which she came clean about. She was, in fact a 19 year old cheerleader, mother of 1 (although I'm still not convinced that is true), she had no job, and she had a boyfriend. I was instantly angered. I knew it had to be too good to be true, and it was. A beautiful, sweet, caring woman fell into my lap out of thin air, and it turned out to be a box full of lies. I'll admit, it hurt a little, but I don't think I would have been able to trust her after that, so maybe it was best that she move on without me. When you re in public safety, you don't get the option to evacuate with your family when disaster strikes. I was called in for mandatory duty when hurricane Gustav hit the coast. At only a category 1 hurricane when it made landfall, this would be a cakewalk at work. The good points about being at work for this was good food and lots of folks around to talk to. I was able to go home at night while it was going on due to the low safety risks. I didn't lose much sleep over this one either.
On September 18th, 2012, my sister went in for a pregnancy check up. The doctor, after some examination, sent her to Oschners hospital in Louisiana. That evening, she gave birth to a little boy that weighed only a pound 4 months premature. I was in medical class for the fire department and doing an ambulance ride along as part of the curriculum when I got the news. I tried to go see her when we made a transfer to Louisiana, but we were due back in Ms immediately after we were finished. It would have to wait. He would be in NICU for the foreseeable future. I was able to come and visit a couple of times while he was still in the hospital. The hospital had released my sister, but she did not want to leave her little boy. The hospital was able to secure them a room at the Ronald McDonald house near the hospital. This would give them an opportunity to visit as often as they could. As the days went on, he began to gain weight little by little and even be taken off of his ventilator. Local fire departments around mine had heard of the story and pitched in with fundraisers to help out in any way possible. My own department even gave for the cause.
A couple of weeks later, I had a stroke of genius. I knew that my back specialist wouldn't clear me for full duty since I was not able to complete physical therapy and I forgot about his follow up appointment. I decided to take my recovery to my regular doctor, who was the second person I reported my problem to after one of the other doctors in the practice did nothing for me. My doctor looked me over, did some tests, and felt that I was OK to perform normal duties. I was finally clear! It took me a couple weeks longer to get my gear back, but once I had it...it was ON!! Only 2 days later, I was on the back side of a burning metal storage shed fighting a fully involved RV fire. It was only after the flames were finally out that we realized there was way more inside that shed than we expected. A damn good first fire back that was. An hour after we cleared the call and put all the trucks back in service, I was pulling up in my driveway when we got the call of a hotel fire in our area. For 9 hours (only 4 of which I could stay for) my department and several from surrounding areas battled this fire that seemed to always be one step ahead of us. That's the second longest fire we have worked since a feed store caught on fire in early 2005, which I forgot to mention earlier. That particular call was 12 hours long. That's the first time I had ever made an initial attack on a commercial building. The room was a little smokey, barely enough to hinder your vision. One of the guys was on a ladder, spraying water in the attic on the fire, pushing it back to where it originated from. The command had been given to stop that progress and wait. Since we were in no immediate danger, this was not a problem. A few minutes later, I just happened to look above my head and notice flames shooting over the attic access hole to reach the space overhead to the rear of us. There has never been any greater confidence than when I looked at this sight and felt OK because I knew the guy with me had my back. Eventually, we were all called out due to the impending spread and demise of the building.
Back to the story....
I was only able to stay for 4 hours, but had the sense enough to bring the mobile air cascade with me, which I ran the entire time. Once I couldn't stay any longer, I passed my job to someone who knew what to do, and called a ride back to my truck. It wasn't until I walked into court that night at work, that I was as red as a lobster. Oh well, the price of the job I guess.
Since my new nephew looked to be coming home sometime around Christmas, It was time that I found my own place since my sister would need the room. I found a house in late October that I could rent from a guy that I worked at the police department with. He would give me a good deal on the rent since he knew what kind of person I was. As if that wasn't a good thing going for me, I had finally made the qualifications to be made an officer, and it just so happened that an elected officer position was coming up. I gathered all the required documents and submitted them for review. The election was set for the first Thursday in November, and so far..I looked to be the only applicant. I had been waiting for this for years, and it finally looked possible. November 1st, I laid down the deposit and first months rent on my new house. This was a huge step for me. I had quite a bit of help getting the place cleaned up, painted, and ready to move in within a couple of days.
November 3rd will forever be a day burned in my memory. My sister, brother in law, and mother was helping me with the finishing touches inside the house before moving all my stuff in. My nephew was due to have a procedure that day just before lunch to flush out an infection that he had gotten. The doctors assured us that things should go well. After we had finished with the house, we were all contemplating dinner ideas. My sister and brother in law were going to head back to Louisiana and eat on the way. While on the way back, they got a call to get back to the hospital as fast as they could do safely. A few hours later, I received a call from my mother saying that my nephew wasn't doing good and may not live through the night. I immediately gathered my things, left my daughter in the care of my grandparents, and proceeded west. The 2 things I was thankful not to see were tail lights and police cars the whole way. Before I could get far enough over the state line, my mother called me to say that my nephew was no longer with us. We got a good 46 days in his life, but he will have the rest of ours in our hearts.
We all have our family. Whether its blood, adopted, long time friends, or (if you are fortunate enough to be in an organization like mine) a work family. These are the people that you can always lean on when times have you down to bring your spirits back up. Even when they cannot, a good ear to listen to all your thoughts is, sometimes, the best thing a person can do for you. In my personal story...I have my blood family, I have a group of long time friends that I can call on, and I have a group of individuals that I work and volunteer with that I can always call on when I need to talk or to pick me back up from the dark hole that I sometimes seem to find myself in. We all must have these people in our lives, no matter who they are. Without people like this in our lives, it can get lonely. I am so thankful that I have had and still have some of these individuals in my life that I can rely on, and that can rely on me.
Life returned to normal, we ran calls here and there, same old stuff. I had become irreplaceable to my shift and my lieutenant at work. It was a great feeling to know that your work and presence was appreciated on some level. The summer was here, my favorite time of year. Living on the beach, the summer is always a great time to get out and catch the scenery! By no means am I this kind of person, but I had been chatting up a new friend that I had met on Facebook through mutual friends. It was harmless chatting every couple of days or so and even a couple of visits to the beach. It didn't take long before I could tell that she had an interest in me, but she wouldn't show it. I was trying to fight my interest in her, but that was easier said than done. She was here, not in any other state in America, here. I could see her whenever I wanted almost and that was something interesting to me at the moment. I decided to break the news to her that I was involved with someone. She took it well, but was still adamant that she had feelings for me and that she didn't mind waiting for a brief period of time. Try as I might to fight ANY feeling toward her, all attempts failed. Moves were made, lines were crossed, and before I knew what was happening...I couldn't go back. At the end of June, a tropical storm was due to hit south Florida. This was the exact same time that I was due to take a vacation to Disney with my dad, his wife, their daughter, my daughter and I. A vacation was gonna be good for me. I would take the time to think about things going on in my life, spend a week with my daughter in the perfect place for kids, and not have to be in Mississippi. I had worked all night before the trip, so the drive home and then to Gulf Breeze was a long one.The tropical storm was still making its way to Florida, but had rumors of weakening right before landfall. We were awaiting the word of whether we were going to attempt the trip because of it. Ultimately, it would weaken enough and possibly be gone by the time we got there. WRONG! It was here that I decided to never go on vacation with my father and his wife ever again. Especially not with a 9 hour ride. Because I have local cell service, I decided to keep my phone use to a minimum to keep away from overages. I told Kansas this and that I wanted to concentrate on this time with family. Where this was, in fact, true...I also needed the time to think without distractions. That doesn't say that I was silent with her the whole week, because I would send her pictures and tell her how the day had went. I would usually text her when we got in that night from dinner. Our first day in the park, we decided to see Epcot first..1-because it doesn't hold as many fun things for kids as the others do, 2-its not as big as the other parks, and 3-because it was right in the middle of a TROPICAL STORM! Who goes to Disney during a tropical storm? These Idiots!! Another reason I refuse to take anymore vacations where my father's wife is involved is because she is, by far, the worst vacation planner that I've ever met. I was honestly disappointed for my daughter because we spent more time waiting for her to figure out what we were doing next and complaining than actually doing things. There was so much that my little girl missed out on because of this. I will say that despite all the down sides, she did enjoy herself.
I have yet to figure out how (probably because I slept the entire trip back) how a 9 hour ride to Orlando can take 12 hours to get back The only thing I wanted more than to be home in my bed, was to be the hell out of that Yukon with them. When we finally got back to Gulf Breeze, dad asked me if I was OK to get back home or did I want to stay. I'm good!! After getting home, and well after a lot of thought, I decided that I couldn't keep going with a long distance relationship. I knew that one of two things would happen. Either she would pack up and move down here with me after only a few months, or it was going to fail. My greatest fear was that she would move down here and we would get settled in only for things to fall apart not even a year later. The scariest part of that, for me, was that she would be stuck here. Of course, for a girl in love, a breakup is nothing even remotely close to pleasant. Single again. I continued to talk to the girl from the beach, spending even more time now with her. Still on the website, I was meeting new people off and on. I had even started an account on Plenty of Fish. Again, it wasn't that I was looking for a new girlfriend, I was just looking to meet new people. And this I did. Browsing around one day, I came across this woman (30) who was looking for a date to a wedding. I offered my advice with a little added humor and went on my way. To my surprise, she sent me a message returning the humor and saying that I should just take her. Alright! This woman was gorgeous, what in the world could she see in me?? Being a gentleman, I took her up on her offer and began to plan it all out since I had to work that day. The day before the wedding was to take place, she was unable to go. I understood and went about the rest of my work weekend. We would message back and forth about finding a way to meet since we seemed to connect so well. She didn't live that far away either, which was a plus. My lieutenant was getting married soon and would have a local reception to which I was invited. We began to plan a date for that wedding, which was a month or two away still. In the meantime, I was still trying to visit her in her home town. All attempts were unsuccessful. I began to get a little suspicious. The day of the reception, I received a text from her saying that she was sick and could not make it. It began to look exactly like my situation with the southern sweetheart, who was now married. I went on to the reception alone. I had a good time with my work friends, as I always do. One of the guy's wife was all about me being with a woman and was excited about the date I said that I was going to have that night. She began to ask where my date was. I explained the situation of why she couldn't be there, but she wanted to see pictures. I began to show her the pictures I had in my phone. Her instant reply was "you know Jenna?!?" Do what?? Let me back up a little...The conversations between us have revealed that she was a 30 year old mother of 2, dance instructor in Mobile, attended church regularly, and was just as country as I like 'em. I found out that I had possibly been lied to.
I went home and got on the computer. I knew the name on facebook that I needed to look up. I stopped counting at 5 matched pictures. I confronted her about my new information to which she came clean about. She was, in fact a 19 year old cheerleader, mother of 1 (although I'm still not convinced that is true), she had no job, and she had a boyfriend. I was instantly angered. I knew it had to be too good to be true, and it was. A beautiful, sweet, caring woman fell into my lap out of thin air, and it turned out to be a box full of lies. I'll admit, it hurt a little, but I don't think I would have been able to trust her after that, so maybe it was best that she move on without me. When you re in public safety, you don't get the option to evacuate with your family when disaster strikes. I was called in for mandatory duty when hurricane Gustav hit the coast. At only a category 1 hurricane when it made landfall, this would be a cakewalk at work. The good points about being at work for this was good food and lots of folks around to talk to. I was able to go home at night while it was going on due to the low safety risks. I didn't lose much sleep over this one either.
On September 18th, 2012, my sister went in for a pregnancy check up. The doctor, after some examination, sent her to Oschners hospital in Louisiana. That evening, she gave birth to a little boy that weighed only a pound 4 months premature. I was in medical class for the fire department and doing an ambulance ride along as part of the curriculum when I got the news. I tried to go see her when we made a transfer to Louisiana, but we were due back in Ms immediately after we were finished. It would have to wait. He would be in NICU for the foreseeable future. I was able to come and visit a couple of times while he was still in the hospital. The hospital had released my sister, but she did not want to leave her little boy. The hospital was able to secure them a room at the Ronald McDonald house near the hospital. This would give them an opportunity to visit as often as they could. As the days went on, he began to gain weight little by little and even be taken off of his ventilator. Local fire departments around mine had heard of the story and pitched in with fundraisers to help out in any way possible. My own department even gave for the cause.
A couple of weeks later, I had a stroke of genius. I knew that my back specialist wouldn't clear me for full duty since I was not able to complete physical therapy and I forgot about his follow up appointment. I decided to take my recovery to my regular doctor, who was the second person I reported my problem to after one of the other doctors in the practice did nothing for me. My doctor looked me over, did some tests, and felt that I was OK to perform normal duties. I was finally clear! It took me a couple weeks longer to get my gear back, but once I had it...it was ON!! Only 2 days later, I was on the back side of a burning metal storage shed fighting a fully involved RV fire. It was only after the flames were finally out that we realized there was way more inside that shed than we expected. A damn good first fire back that was. An hour after we cleared the call and put all the trucks back in service, I was pulling up in my driveway when we got the call of a hotel fire in our area. For 9 hours (only 4 of which I could stay for) my department and several from surrounding areas battled this fire that seemed to always be one step ahead of us. That's the second longest fire we have worked since a feed store caught on fire in early 2005, which I forgot to mention earlier. That particular call was 12 hours long. That's the first time I had ever made an initial attack on a commercial building. The room was a little smokey, barely enough to hinder your vision. One of the guys was on a ladder, spraying water in the attic on the fire, pushing it back to where it originated from. The command had been given to stop that progress and wait. Since we were in no immediate danger, this was not a problem. A few minutes later, I just happened to look above my head and notice flames shooting over the attic access hole to reach the space overhead to the rear of us. There has never been any greater confidence than when I looked at this sight and felt OK because I knew the guy with me had my back. Eventually, we were all called out due to the impending spread and demise of the building.
Back to the story....
I was only able to stay for 4 hours, but had the sense enough to bring the mobile air cascade with me, which I ran the entire time. Once I couldn't stay any longer, I passed my job to someone who knew what to do, and called a ride back to my truck. It wasn't until I walked into court that night at work, that I was as red as a lobster. Oh well, the price of the job I guess.
Since my new nephew looked to be coming home sometime around Christmas, It was time that I found my own place since my sister would need the room. I found a house in late October that I could rent from a guy that I worked at the police department with. He would give me a good deal on the rent since he knew what kind of person I was. As if that wasn't a good thing going for me, I had finally made the qualifications to be made an officer, and it just so happened that an elected officer position was coming up. I gathered all the required documents and submitted them for review. The election was set for the first Thursday in November, and so far..I looked to be the only applicant. I had been waiting for this for years, and it finally looked possible. November 1st, I laid down the deposit and first months rent on my new house. This was a huge step for me. I had quite a bit of help getting the place cleaned up, painted, and ready to move in within a couple of days.
November 3rd will forever be a day burned in my memory. My sister, brother in law, and mother was helping me with the finishing touches inside the house before moving all my stuff in. My nephew was due to have a procedure that day just before lunch to flush out an infection that he had gotten. The doctors assured us that things should go well. After we had finished with the house, we were all contemplating dinner ideas. My sister and brother in law were going to head back to Louisiana and eat on the way. While on the way back, they got a call to get back to the hospital as fast as they could do safely. A few hours later, I received a call from my mother saying that my nephew wasn't doing good and may not live through the night. I immediately gathered my things, left my daughter in the care of my grandparents, and proceeded west. The 2 things I was thankful not to see were tail lights and police cars the whole way. Before I could get far enough over the state line, my mother called me to say that my nephew was no longer with us. We got a good 46 days in his life, but he will have the rest of ours in our hearts.
We all have our family. Whether its blood, adopted, long time friends, or (if you are fortunate enough to be in an organization like mine) a work family. These are the people that you can always lean on when times have you down to bring your spirits back up. Even when they cannot, a good ear to listen to all your thoughts is, sometimes, the best thing a person can do for you. In my personal story...I have my blood family, I have a group of long time friends that I can call on, and I have a group of individuals that I work and volunteer with that I can always call on when I need to talk or to pick me back up from the dark hole that I sometimes seem to find myself in. We all must have these people in our lives, no matter who they are. Without people like this in our lives, it can get lonely. I am so thankful that I have had and still have some of these individuals in my life that I can rely on, and that can rely on me.
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