.....Yeah, if you recall the last chapter, I was unemployed for about 2 months. I pretty much told her to get over it, it was income.
Back at the old fire station, we were running quite a bit of calls, mostly woods fires and grass fires. Since I had radio experience from the fire dept, I was cruising through my training program at the police department. The only real things I had to learn was about the aspect of call taking and booking. Even those were coming easy to me. A few weeks into the job, I was able to rent a moving truck and load up all of our necessary items to move south. Because we had put everything into staying afloat and moving, we were unable to secure a place of our own, and since no one in my Ms family had room for the three of us, I secured a room for us with my mother until we could get our own. It was only a couple weeks before my girlfriend found a job in a law office as a secretary, which was what she was doing before we moved. Between the two of us, we were making a substantial amount more money than we were up north. That was a bright side to the situation, so had that going for us.
It was told to me that I may possibly be going on a permanent night shift once my training was done. It wasn't an ideal situation, but it would keep me paid and I would have the chance to switch shifts later on if someone left. My girlfriend wasn't happy at all that I would be working a night shift. Even when I explained that this is what needs to happen to keep money in the bank, she was still upset that I would be gone at night. She would have to get over that, I was taking care of my family. It wasn't like that argument was the last one though. It seemed like we were arguing about something every other day; work, money, the fire dept, my sleep schedule, or whatever else seemed to be bothering her that day. My training had finished and I had picked up some extra hours with my new schedule on night shift. The money was coming in, but it always seemed to be going out just as fast. This wouldn't dawn on me more until later. After 3 months of staying at my mother's, she was getting a little overwhelmed with my girlfriend's attitude toward my little brother and how she was treating me in general. Mom was pushing for us to find our own place so that tensions could calm down. Somehow, after 3 months, we still were nowhere near able to get our own place. Where was the money going? Finally, I had enough of the arguing between her and I, and her and my brother. I came in one night and informed her that I could not be in this relationship any longer, but that I would help her in any way I could to find her a place and even help her pay for it. Of course, she was not pleased to hear that I was out, but after a couple of days, she was OK with me helping with an apartment. I stood by my word and helped her look in the safe areas of town while keeping distance and my response time in mind in case she needed my help for anything.
It didn't take long for her to actually realize that this breakup was for real and that I would not be returning. At this point, she turned bitter, angry, and vengeful. In one of our last phone conversations, she told me that she didn't need nor want any of my help and if I didn't want to be with her, that she would be moving back to her home town and taking our daughter with her. No argument that I made had any any influence on her decision, and within 2 weeks, they were gone. My mother had already informed me that once my girlfriend was gone, I would need to find somewhere for myself as well. Since it was obvious that she was not going to let me see my daughter unless I drove the 3 hours to her house, I decided that I would store the things that I had left in my mother's shed and I would stay between my grandparent's house and the fire station. Since no one was staying on the north side of our area, I figured I would provide a service by staying and running calls during the day. It seemed to be working well for me. Then, it began again, I was on the girl hunt!!! It wasn't that I was looking for a new girlfriend, I was just looking for a pretty face to hang around with. This was around the time of Facebook popularity. Once again, I was behind on the times, but I decided to give it a shot.
After years of waiting and hoping, we had finally acquired the land and our new fire station was going up nicely. Being back in my home area, I was back to being a senior firefighter. Here again, the fire Chief wanted to make me an officer due to my experience and professionalism. Our board of directors, however, blocked every opportunity he attempted because I did not meet the required time in the department. This didn't stop me from doing my job or going above and beyond the call of duty. After all, I was back protecting my community. All of the other departments had gone to 24 hour shifts for the paid firemen except for ours due to the station being so small and severely outdated. Once the new station was complete, the shifts would start. I was on my way to getting my life back on track in the weeks following my breakup, my skills at work were improving, and I had been spending time with a woman from the past. I had never dated her before, but she was close with my fiancé and I as myself and her fiancé had been in the fire department together. We all seemed to break up at the same time and the two of us needed some positive in our lives.
It started out harmless at movies, lunch, and random joyrides. It grew as time went on with the growing of attractions. I couldn't help it, she was sweet to me, she did things for me even when I didn't ask for them or want her to do them, she helped me through some of the tough times I was having at that point, and you couldn't help but like her personality. We finally grew into a couple, and I was happy once again. I was still staying between the fire station and my grandparent's, but my sister and her boyfriend (long time friend and brother firefighter) had extended the offer of a spare room once their house was complete. I had gained some medical training and the trust of most of the paramedics in our area, enough assist one of our paid firefighters, who happened to be an EMT, on medical calls. I had ran medical calls on children before, but now being a father, calls involving children became slightly difficult. It is especially difficult when the child cannot tell you what's wrong, or their parents have made conditions in their home harmful to their child. These types of scenes stay in your mind most of your career.
While waiting for my sister's house to be completed, my newly acquired girlfriend asked me to come live with her until the house was finished. She hated the idea of me staying at the fire station, so I decided to move in with her to her newly acquired apartment.
Even though the transition from new boyfriend to live in boyfriend was a quick one, the situation still wasn't as bad as you might think. We took very good care of each other, and while there were things that I didn't care for about the way she kept house, she was getting out on her own just like I was, so there was some learning to do. She was a member of the bigger department that I used to be with, which ran mutual aid with us, so she was able to go on calls and ride in the trucks with me. After a few months at the police department, I was presented with the opportunity to swap days and nights with one of the day shift dispatchers. This would be a nice change of pace and a chance to be on a normal schedule, I scooped it up quickly. Getting up at 5 took a lot of getting used to, I was RIGHT on time a lot. I never figured out why, but there were times when my alarm would not go off and they would be looking for me at 630 in the morning. Whoops!! I couldn't afford to let that happen anymore. To remedy this problem, I set my alarm for 430 every morning whether I worked or not. If I was off, I would just turn it off and go back to sleep. I have to admit, it was rather nice to have someone to kiss goodbye when I left for work again.
A couple of months after moving in the apartment with my girlfriend, we were only a few minor steps away from the house being finished. We enlisted a group of firemen from each of the stations to help us take care of what we needed to in order to complete the inspection. Free lunch and beer go a long way. Before we knew it, it was moving day. The new girlfriend would come stay with me in the new house just as I would go stay at the apartment with her, this seemed to work for awhile. Sitting at work one day, I received a call from a deputy sheriff telling me he had paperwork to deliver me. Having very little contact with the sheriffs department, I was more than curious to know what kind of paperwork he had for me. The deputy handed me an envelope, greeted me, and then said his farewell. I opened the envelope to find a subpoena for family court and papers for child custody. Seriously?? Not enough decency to talk about it between the two of us first? Guess its time for a lawyer, like I had the money for that. I guess it's easy to take someone to court when you don't pay rent, a vehicle note, and you work for the lawyer representing you. Oh well, what can you do, right? On to the battle we go! I suppose my fight was easier than some. We were able to settle out of court after a couple of months at the last possible day. I didn't really win much of the fight in terms of what was fair, but I was able to keep the lawyer fees down for the time being. The one thing that disappointed me was that the hearing ended up being continued until after Christmas, to which I was told that if I wanted to see my daughter, I would have to drive up north to her mother's house. This wouldn't be the first of her attacks on me either. January 2010, papers were signed and I was able to exercise my parental rights as a non custodial father, which sucks by the way. The first couple of visits went as expected, most of my time was consumed with driving since the judge ordered me to pick my daughter up and drop her off at her mothers house, 2 and a half hours away. I know I have it better than some, but the parents always meet half way, at least. Some people just take all that they want to I suppose. As always, winter means woods fires from people clearing dead land for the spring and kids playing with fireworks. It also means drunken accidents from social gatherings around new years and after Christmas. Once again, I will say that we, firemen, sometimes do dumb shit. Give us things that explode, fireworks for example, and you can multiply those chances. That night, we responded to a call just after midnight. Dispatch told us of some circumstances that turned out not to be true. I'm not sure why I went, but I decided to go. Walking up, I was stopped by a 7 foot deputy sheriff that asked me with a firm voice, "you cant come past here without medical training, are you medically trained?" Why yes I am! The second officer I encountered was attempting to gain a pulse on the neck. He looks up at me and says, "I can't find a pulse, I think we should start CPR". I bent down to feel his wrist. Awe, bless your little heart, you were in the wrong spot. That's OK, we'll take it from here. It was at this point that I realized this person was not suffering from what dispatch had told us had happened. Off with the clothes! Upon arrival of the paramedics, one of them knelt down to us and says "I have a helicopter 15 minutes out, you guys think you could find a landing zone for it in that time?" I looked up to him, and without missing a beat, "In 15 minutes, I'll have you an LZ picked out, set up, road blocked off, and bottled water ready for each of you." Off I went.
As promised, everything was in place, including the water. My girlfriend always supported me as a firefighter and encouraged my persistence to be a leader. That night, while watching me set up the landing zone, she tells me that she can really see my passion in this, it's obvious that I'm in my element when things are crazy. She told me that she felt that my leadership skills were growing even though I was doing a great job at it now. The compliments were greatly appreciated, but they never really sank in for quite some time.
On my third or fourth visit with my daughter, I left the coast at the same time I always did, leaving enough time for me to get to her mother's house by the hour I was allowed to pick her up. When I arrived, I noticed that her car was not in the driveway, so I decided to wait. I figured she would be along shortly, no big deal. My ex lived in an area that had poor cell phone reception, so making a call to her was out of the question when she still hadn't shown up after 30 minutes. When an hour had passed, I drove over to a spot that I knew would have cell phone reception to attempt to call and find out where she was. It was then that I realized the cell phone had been disconnected....Interesting. I decided to go back to the house and wait some more, maybe they would show up. After 3 hours had passed, I began to backtrack her route from work, making sure that she had not broken down or been involved in an accident on the way home. I placed calls to law enforcement in the areas in an attempt to make sure they had no record of either. They were helpful, but had no record. Once my trace was finished, I returned to her house thinking that she may have made it back by then. At 4 hours of waiting, one of the members of her family pulled up to investigate the vehicle sitting in the dark driveway. When he realized who I actually was, he attempted to help me find my daughter. I suspected he had an ulterior motive shortly after he initiated his call to his wife by the lack of information that he suddenly had and his eagerness to leave, but I couldn't prove he knew anything more. I bid my farewell and he left. When the clock struck 11, I knew for sure that she wouldn't be coming. I was overcome with multiple emotions. I felt hurt and angry in every form. Because she lived outside the city, I had to drive the 20 minutes into town and speak with a deputy sheriff who, then, made me fill out my own incident report by hand. This dude is serious? Had I known I would have to fill out my own report, I wouldn't have called you here, I would have done it and left it with your dispatcher. Then, I reminded myself where I was.
It was midnight, I was tired, I was hungry, I was angry, and I was hurt. I had been sitting in my truck for 9 hours and still had 3 left to drive. I decided to stop at a waffle house on the way home to eat and stretch my legs. I contemplated getting a hotel room since I was still almost an hour away from home and it was already early in the morning. I decided against it after the waitresses, in their own night shift entertainment, picked my spirits up a bit and decided to push through and go on home to my own bed. The next morning, I was woken up early to a surprise breakfast that my girlfriend had brought me from IHOP. As sweet as she was, and as much as she knew how I liked french toast, I could hardly eat. I downed what I could and then laid back down to sleep. Thankfully, I didn't spend the rest of my day alone. I had decided that on Monday, I would go to the lawyer's office and file paperwork for contempt of court. Part of me wanted her to pay for what she had done, but then I started thinking. I asked myself, would the court actually do anything to her? Would she just be warned and sent on her way? What good would that do? Even if they did do something to her, would that deter her from doing something else later on? It's in my experience that a mother has to do something severe for the court to inflict any punishment upon her. Usually, It's a slap on the wrist and everyone goes about their business. Why did I just pay a lawyer another $1,500 for this BS? I ultimately decided to build a case against her for when she decided to do something else drastic. Believe me, this wasn't the first time. I finally got my phone call back from her a week later. When asked why she wasn't home for me to pick my daughter up, she replied "I was at mommas and my phone was dead. You also didn't provide me with a schedule for this month as we agreed." I call BS. I'm pretty sure she knew I was off, wanted our daughter to herself, found a way to get away with taking her to a place that I wouldn't check, turned off her phone, and waited until she knew I would already be back home. But, lets back track a little. I work what is called a "panama rotation". It's a pretty common schedule among 12 hour shift work. It is a systematic 2 2 3 rotation. I would work 2 to 3 days at a time and switch days each week. This rotation allowed me to have every other weekend off and 2 off days in the beginning or middle of the week. Once you map out my schedule, it's very easy to predict, especially when you only have to worry about weekends. It still wasn't enough to place punishment on her, so I waited. The next few weekends went on without any incident. That wasn't always the case though. We have had quite a few knock down-drag outs in the yard and over the phone. She has threatened to bring me back to court for more money and less rights, just like a vengeful woman.
It became quite apparent to me that the girl I was dating was falling in love. If you know what to look for, it's not hard to spot. I was convinced that if I had asked her to marry me, she would have accepted without hesitation. It may not have been bad either. After all, she took great care of me, she cared for my daughter and I deeply, my family seemed to enjoy her, and she was sweet as could be. What was the problem then, Will?? My problem was that I did not feel the same way and felt that it was not fair to her to have all her emotions invested in me for me not to be able to return them. She has been one of the women that I've regretted breaking the heart of, but after careful thought, I felt that it was what had to be done. I was single again. Fire life hadn't changed, we were still answering multiple calls during the week and awaiting the completion of our new station. The paid firemen of our department were able to convince the fire district to allow them to begin 24 hour shifts in the current station if they agreed to be OK with the station conditions for the time being. God bless them, cause we all knew it wasn't even close to being great. I had been back for a year now, I had finally made the minimum time requirement to be an officer.....after the Chief had filled all the officer spots. Oh well, that still didn't keep me from doing my job. I would be running for it in the next election though, believe that. The spring of 10 brought new friendships and adventures my way that continued into the summer. Our fire station was in the finishing stages and we were working tirelessly to improve our fire rating. We were getting rumor that the 2 departments south of us were planning a merger on mutual terms. They were working a deal out with the fire district to approve the merger with some financial stipulations, which seemed to be going smoothly. We were all ecstatic at the final opening of our new station. Finally, we had more room to move around it, more room to store trucks, and finally something new for us in quite a few years. It wasn't ours for long, however. At the beginning of August, we were informed that all 3 departments would be merged into 1 under the leadership of the Chief of the most southern department. This would all take place on the 1st of September. We were all shocked and upset. The department we were all busting our ass to move forward and improve was about to be the victim of a hostel takeover by the fire district. We were not, at all, optimistic. I, myself, began to debate whether I wanted to be a part of this merger or if it was time for me to go on elsewhere. I had heard things about the Chief in the past, giving me a bad opinion of him. I wasn't sure I wanted him as my leader. Not like I would have a choice. The county had also informed us that on the first day of the merger, only that departments members would be able to answer calls in the new response area. This almost made it worse. We couldn't even fight fire in our own community because of this. I debated for the entire month, talking to various fire chiefs about joining their departments and considering a move. I hated that all of my hard work and effort would now be erased and overlooked even more with a larger department than the one I had now. There was to be a special business meeting by the new fire department a couple days after the merge to install the existing members into the new department. It would be a month after that before anyone else could be voted in. Midnight on the last day...I still had no clue what I was going to do. I was still pessimistic about the changes and couldn't find the good in the situation. One thing was for sure, at 1 minute after midnight...I turned off my radio. I was no longer a fireman.
You don't realize how much something is a part of your life until it isn't a part anymore. You don't realize how much you love something until it's not around. This goes for most things of merit in your life, a woman, a hobby, family, friends, or just the small things in life that we all take for granted from time to time. We must remind ourselves of the little things in life that mean more than we give them credit. Don't lose sight of the little things.
As promised, everything was in place, including the water. My girlfriend always supported me as a firefighter and encouraged my persistence to be a leader. That night, while watching me set up the landing zone, she tells me that she can really see my passion in this, it's obvious that I'm in my element when things are crazy. She told me that she felt that my leadership skills were growing even though I was doing a great job at it now. The compliments were greatly appreciated, but they never really sank in for quite some time.
On my third or fourth visit with my daughter, I left the coast at the same time I always did, leaving enough time for me to get to her mother's house by the hour I was allowed to pick her up. When I arrived, I noticed that her car was not in the driveway, so I decided to wait. I figured she would be along shortly, no big deal. My ex lived in an area that had poor cell phone reception, so making a call to her was out of the question when she still hadn't shown up after 30 minutes. When an hour had passed, I drove over to a spot that I knew would have cell phone reception to attempt to call and find out where she was. It was then that I realized the cell phone had been disconnected....Interesting. I decided to go back to the house and wait some more, maybe they would show up. After 3 hours had passed, I began to backtrack her route from work, making sure that she had not broken down or been involved in an accident on the way home. I placed calls to law enforcement in the areas in an attempt to make sure they had no record of either. They were helpful, but had no record. Once my trace was finished, I returned to her house thinking that she may have made it back by then. At 4 hours of waiting, one of the members of her family pulled up to investigate the vehicle sitting in the dark driveway. When he realized who I actually was, he attempted to help me find my daughter. I suspected he had an ulterior motive shortly after he initiated his call to his wife by the lack of information that he suddenly had and his eagerness to leave, but I couldn't prove he knew anything more. I bid my farewell and he left. When the clock struck 11, I knew for sure that she wouldn't be coming. I was overcome with multiple emotions. I felt hurt and angry in every form. Because she lived outside the city, I had to drive the 20 minutes into town and speak with a deputy sheriff who, then, made me fill out my own incident report by hand. This dude is serious? Had I known I would have to fill out my own report, I wouldn't have called you here, I would have done it and left it with your dispatcher. Then, I reminded myself where I was.
It was midnight, I was tired, I was hungry, I was angry, and I was hurt. I had been sitting in my truck for 9 hours and still had 3 left to drive. I decided to stop at a waffle house on the way home to eat and stretch my legs. I contemplated getting a hotel room since I was still almost an hour away from home and it was already early in the morning. I decided against it after the waitresses, in their own night shift entertainment, picked my spirits up a bit and decided to push through and go on home to my own bed. The next morning, I was woken up early to a surprise breakfast that my girlfriend had brought me from IHOP. As sweet as she was, and as much as she knew how I liked french toast, I could hardly eat. I downed what I could and then laid back down to sleep. Thankfully, I didn't spend the rest of my day alone. I had decided that on Monday, I would go to the lawyer's office and file paperwork for contempt of court. Part of me wanted her to pay for what she had done, but then I started thinking. I asked myself, would the court actually do anything to her? Would she just be warned and sent on her way? What good would that do? Even if they did do something to her, would that deter her from doing something else later on? It's in my experience that a mother has to do something severe for the court to inflict any punishment upon her. Usually, It's a slap on the wrist and everyone goes about their business. Why did I just pay a lawyer another $1,500 for this BS? I ultimately decided to build a case against her for when she decided to do something else drastic. Believe me, this wasn't the first time. I finally got my phone call back from her a week later. When asked why she wasn't home for me to pick my daughter up, she replied "I was at mommas and my phone was dead. You also didn't provide me with a schedule for this month as we agreed." I call BS. I'm pretty sure she knew I was off, wanted our daughter to herself, found a way to get away with taking her to a place that I wouldn't check, turned off her phone, and waited until she knew I would already be back home. But, lets back track a little. I work what is called a "panama rotation". It's a pretty common schedule among 12 hour shift work. It is a systematic 2 2 3 rotation. I would work 2 to 3 days at a time and switch days each week. This rotation allowed me to have every other weekend off and 2 off days in the beginning or middle of the week. Once you map out my schedule, it's very easy to predict, especially when you only have to worry about weekends. It still wasn't enough to place punishment on her, so I waited. The next few weekends went on without any incident. That wasn't always the case though. We have had quite a few knock down-drag outs in the yard and over the phone. She has threatened to bring me back to court for more money and less rights, just like a vengeful woman.
It became quite apparent to me that the girl I was dating was falling in love. If you know what to look for, it's not hard to spot. I was convinced that if I had asked her to marry me, she would have accepted without hesitation. It may not have been bad either. After all, she took great care of me, she cared for my daughter and I deeply, my family seemed to enjoy her, and she was sweet as could be. What was the problem then, Will?? My problem was that I did not feel the same way and felt that it was not fair to her to have all her emotions invested in me for me not to be able to return them. She has been one of the women that I've regretted breaking the heart of, but after careful thought, I felt that it was what had to be done. I was single again. Fire life hadn't changed, we were still answering multiple calls during the week and awaiting the completion of our new station. The paid firemen of our department were able to convince the fire district to allow them to begin 24 hour shifts in the current station if they agreed to be OK with the station conditions for the time being. God bless them, cause we all knew it wasn't even close to being great. I had been back for a year now, I had finally made the minimum time requirement to be an officer.....after the Chief had filled all the officer spots. Oh well, that still didn't keep me from doing my job. I would be running for it in the next election though, believe that. The spring of 10 brought new friendships and adventures my way that continued into the summer. Our fire station was in the finishing stages and we were working tirelessly to improve our fire rating. We were getting rumor that the 2 departments south of us were planning a merger on mutual terms. They were working a deal out with the fire district to approve the merger with some financial stipulations, which seemed to be going smoothly. We were all ecstatic at the final opening of our new station. Finally, we had more room to move around it, more room to store trucks, and finally something new for us in quite a few years. It wasn't ours for long, however. At the beginning of August, we were informed that all 3 departments would be merged into 1 under the leadership of the Chief of the most southern department. This would all take place on the 1st of September. We were all shocked and upset. The department we were all busting our ass to move forward and improve was about to be the victim of a hostel takeover by the fire district. We were not, at all, optimistic. I, myself, began to debate whether I wanted to be a part of this merger or if it was time for me to go on elsewhere. I had heard things about the Chief in the past, giving me a bad opinion of him. I wasn't sure I wanted him as my leader. Not like I would have a choice. The county had also informed us that on the first day of the merger, only that departments members would be able to answer calls in the new response area. This almost made it worse. We couldn't even fight fire in our own community because of this. I debated for the entire month, talking to various fire chiefs about joining their departments and considering a move. I hated that all of my hard work and effort would now be erased and overlooked even more with a larger department than the one I had now. There was to be a special business meeting by the new fire department a couple days after the merge to install the existing members into the new department. It would be a month after that before anyone else could be voted in. Midnight on the last day...I still had no clue what I was going to do. I was still pessimistic about the changes and couldn't find the good in the situation. One thing was for sure, at 1 minute after midnight...I turned off my radio. I was no longer a fireman.
You don't realize how much something is a part of your life until it isn't a part anymore. You don't realize how much you love something until it's not around. This goes for most things of merit in your life, a woman, a hobby, family, friends, or just the small things in life that we all take for granted from time to time. We must remind ourselves of the little things in life that mean more than we give them credit. Don't lose sight of the little things.
No comments:
Post a Comment